Is it normal to have sexual fantasies

It is a completely natural and universal psychological phenomenon similar to dreaming. And, like with dreams, some sexual fantasies are gratifying, enjoyable and satisfying, while others may trouble us a lot. Fantasies that improve self-esteem and intimacy with a partner are usually the most desirable. Lest anyone feel that it is a male bastion or prerogative, women too experience an amazing range of fantasies as I have gathered over my years in this field! And women use sexual fantasy in some very clever ways to make themselves feel sexier, reach orgasm, safely satisfy their curiosity, and even relax. When life presents changes or challenges, we can also draw on sexual fantasy, as on pleasant memories, to provide a temporary escape or safe haven. Having said all this, there are times when such fantasising can get out of hand. To help you to evaluate whether, and to what extent, a particular fantasy may be causing problems, ask yourself the following questions - does the fantasy lead to risky or dangerous behaviour? Does the fantasy feel out of control or compulsive? Is the content of the fantasy disturbing or repulsive? Does the fantasy hinder recovery or personal growth? Does the fantasy lower your self-esteem or block self-acceptance? Does the fantasy distance you from your real life partner? Does the fantasy harm your intimate partner or anyone else? Does the fantasy cause sexual problems? If the answer to any of these is yes, then maybe you need to drop in for a chat. Otherwise, chill and keep on with what you are doing to good effect.