Dealing with your parents’ alcoholism

Experts suggest how to handle this sensitive situation Having alcoholic parents can be difficult to deal with. It can also wreck a happy family life. Alcoholism is a disease that, if your parents have, can not only bring about anger towards parents but also cause embarrassment and frustration. Here are ways you can cope with it: Never keep it a secret Acknowledge that your parent has a drinking problem even if they're trying to conceal it. This is the baby step to taking control. You could start by talking to an elder in the family who is close to both you and your parents. Never burst out with emotion Take control of yourself. It is natural that because of their drinking habit, you might be resentful towards your parents and they might have caused you harm too. But, if you're there to help them then never be bitter to them, especially when they are drunk. Don't make them feel that they have made you extremely unhappy and you regret being called their child. Reuben Khanna (name changed on request) says, "I would always feel frustrated about being with an alcoholic father and would nag. Though my father would always be loving when sobre, just because I couldn't deal with him while he was drunk, I would keep making him feel bad about himself. This lead to my father being depressed for quite a while. Now, when I look back at it, I regret not having dealt with it maturely." Don't blame yourself Remember that you are not the the reason your parents got addicted to alcohol. It is one's personal decision and no one can get an individual to become an alcoholic. All you can do, as their child, is help them understand it is a problem and try getting them out of it. Free your past Do not cling on to your past. Alcoholism can be cured and once your parents have realised this as well, they will look forward to it. You should let go of the bitterness and anger your parents caused to you and start afresh as a family. Turn for help Make sure you make your parent realise that excessive drinking is a problem and curing it is important. Psychologist Chandni Mehta says, "Talk to your parent when he/she is sobre. Make sure you get your family to intervene. Talk it out to him/her in front of your whole family. Help them accept they have a problem. In this case, being firm to your parent does not mean you don't love him/her." Get your parents to join a treatment programme for the same. If you want to keep the whole deal a secret, you can get them to join confidential support groups. Practice what you preach Mehta says studies show that if the father is an addict, chances of the son having an addiction is higher. Don't ever turn to excessive drinking. You have seen your parents go through it and should know that it can lead to a disastrous family life. Do not take to alcoholism and blame your parents for getting you to grow this way.